Seth, sounds like you have some interesting stories out of Match.com---though this might not the most appropriate venue to share them! From what I can gather, online dating sites have taken off largely perhaps female participants trust them more than finding a guy at their local watering hole or the supermarket.
@anahdn, I admire a healthy skepticism. Don't just take one person's word for anything. Isn't that part of analytics, as well? I want to share one more link here b/c the title is so close to the title of the blog: The Mathematics of Love
Altogether, Dr. Gottman has completed seven studies that explored what predicts divorce. These studies included three groups: 1) couples that divorced 2) couples that stayed together and were happy and 3) couples that stayed together and were unhappy. Dr. Gottman’s research helped him identify specific behavior patterns in couples that he later termed the “Masters” and “Disasters” of relationships.
Six of the seven studies have been predictive—each began with a hypothesis about factors leading to divorce. Based on these factors, Dr. Gottman predicted who would divorce, then followed the couples for a pre-determined length of time. Finally, he drew conclusions about the accuracy of his predictions. He has also consistently evaluated other theoretical models that might predict differently and reported the results of these analyses (e.g., Gottman & Levenson, 2002). This is true prediction. Prior to his six prediction studies, Dr. Gottman did an initial post-hoc analyses study back in 1980 to help him determine what factors were useful in predicting divorce. Although the predictive studies have been touted in the media, Dr. Gottman believes that it’s much more important to understand why certain actions increase divorce risk rather than to predict it. This enables Drs. John and Julie Gottman to design successful interventions. Their very high prediction rate suggests that they’ve hit upon a type of interaction or pattern of behavior that can make a couple vulnerable to divorce – and this sheds light on how best to intervene.
You seemed to have studied his book really well. Anyway I agree with you on certain things where a person can be analyzed based on his behaviour but lets say that the behaviour got changed due to religous reasons after a period of time. Then the mariage which he said will not long last might have a chance to last forever isn't it ?
Anyway just one question, does he say to thei face whethe it will long last or not ? If so dont you think the comment he makes (positive or negative) might have an impact since lets say if the comment was negative it might work on thier heads and that will lead to a dispute and break their marraige isnt it ? I think he is playing a little mind game if so. Anyway this is my opinion. I may be wong.
I admit it, I admit it. I tried Match.com . It can increase the odds of meeting someone, but a person needs to be patient. I believe the real reason it works is in part because of a placebo effect by taking some of the fear out of dating.
Also, Ithere are a couple of people out their who are mad at me because I'm not attracted or compatible with them when the computer plainly told them I should be.
If you read his books, you'll see it's not quite like that -- not quite as deep as the question of Divine knowledge versus free will. He can tell from a couple's interaction whether there are destructive elements at play. He identifies 4 key ones. It's OK to have conflict, but if they demonstrate contempt -- one of the big no-nos -- then they're in trouble.